To Cook a Steak

ChunkiMunki

This article is American and any temperatures are in Fahrenheit

Now, there have been many theories circling on how to cook a steak. I always like mine medium rare, but others have different tastes. I then saw a video on how somebody seasons their cutting board instead of their steak. That really got me thinking: How else can you cook a steak?

Started with the cutting board seasoning method, I find that too complex. Why season your steak why season your cutting board? Just season your mouth! Or if that's too difficult, season your mouth, put the steak in your mouth and hope you really do have ice in your veins. Since an average American's blood vessels contain 600% oil, you can put your ingredients in your mouth and light yourself on fire!! Cooked to perfection and no silverware wasted!

But then I sat down. I sat down and thought. A reverse seared steak is cooked at 300 for 45 min. Rather than that, you could cook it at 810,000 degrees for one minute. Even better, cook it at 48,600,000 degrees for one second. Or 4,860,000,000 degrees for one millisecond. The of the sun equates to 27,000,000 degrees at its core, but don't give up yet. The surface temperature of the hottest star we have discovered is 377,540, but that's only scratching the surface, quite literally.

In conclusion, why eat steak? Kraft mac and cheese is so much better.