By Ada Mug Ray and Ron Al Danman
The famed police chief and detective L.E. Monke died this morning from natural causes, also known as stab wounds. (He lived in Ohio, Doge v Cheems reference.) The secondary police chief is Romulus D. oge VI who is the current head of the doge clan (or cult if you prefer.) The lead detectives, Sanic the hodgeheg and Zhespin Gallop are currently trying to find the murderer. They have narrowed it down to three suspects. We will list them here for you.
Mike Wazowski
He already looks threatening and to be even more scary, he has a restraining order against 3.2859 percent of the entire world’s population! The night before the murder he and L.E. Monke were eating glizzys when L.E. Monke ate one of his! This may not sound like much but Mike Wazowski was infuriated! He started yelling at L.E. Monke until he went home.
Amogus impostor.
He was aware that L.E. Monke was coming close to unraveling the truth about him cheating on the election. This morning a witness who worked for Amogus Inc. said “...He had been black mailing (L.E. Monke) to prevent him from looking into Amogus Inc. and its motives.” The witness later that day died from natural causes. Lived in Ohio. This suspect is the sussest suspect out of the suspects.
Big Floppa.
This is actually very sad because just recently, he was the top candidate for the Meme Council, and many voters did not expect him to do such a thing. Big Floppa highly disagrees with these claims, so he has hired Leosky the Valorant Lawyer to fight in his defense. They are doing a good job, but the blames are true and it is a punishable crime, he may not be able to run for council ever again if proven guilty. He is a suspect because just this morning, he was caught in 4K playing Fortnite at 3 AM. But that’s not all, he was also accused by a witness at his political speech of having a rifle in his pocket, and the gun also having blood stains on it with the purplish-greenish blood immediately recognizable as L.E. Monke's blood. Of course, the witness (Putin) could be lying, but who knows? There has been no evidence of firearms in his possession yet.
The detective Sanic said “L.E. Monke was my hero, I would say many people worshiped him. That is why they will not get away with this crime. I WILL FIND THEM.” RIP L.E Monke, gone but not forgotten…
RIP
it was a good article however, i take 2 stars off for 2 reasons
no cheese
same as the first reason, repeat
as you can see, this is unnacceptable. #moarcheese #giveemdecheese #cheese
ye
Am cwying
I miss him