The International Meme War

Sancho Panza II (Ron Al Danmann)

As you may know, there is an ongoing war in the New Kingdom between Trollface and Doge over an unknown purpose, most likely territory of company control. Others speculate it could be so trollface can revive their father figure, Trol T. Face I, who left to find a milk mine and never came back. Trol’s dream was always to take over Amogus, Inc., which happens to be located in the New Kingdom, so his disciples may be trying to do it for him.

Anyways, when the war grew larger, more and more clans of memes joined sides, eager to support their favorite memes. But recently, the war has gotten out of hand, and has spread to many other countries around the world who are taking various actions, such as Madagascar with King Julian forming his own group called the Skibidi Rizzler Gorillas, who plan to take over all of the old world. Another powerful group that has emerged from this is the nation of SoRussia, dictated by Vlad. Putin II, who is fighting King Julian in his conquest of Eurasia. From this, many alliances have emerged, including the Balltze and Evil Doge alliance, who are all under the all-powerful Russia (not SoRussia), and the Kalegoogf Alliance, which includes most of Méso-América and some of West Africa. By the way, West Africa is fighting East Africa over the DRC, Chad, and South Africa, all of which have tons of oil and uranium 234. Because the New Kingdom is in Ohio, Canada is trying to take over it, making their own kingdom called the Mew Kingdom. The NMC and NVM are fighting back against this. And on top of all of this, Europe is in a giant war, as always, with Italy trying to take Carthage and the UK and France battling over territory. Germany is in a dispute with Russia for taking all of their troops of Cheems and Doge, so they are struggling to get closer to Russian Territory. The Spanish are trying to get to the Americas in hope of conquering more to please the Troll master, but they are not succeeding much. Well start our journey with the beginning, where it all started.

The New Kingdom was an extremely fast-growing kingdom in the Suburbs of Ohio, where many memes resided and went about their daily work. But, as we already covered in our New Kingdom War article, there was a war between Doge and TrollFace that would completely take over the New Kingdom. When the war really escalated was when the war got the attention of neighboring country Canada, who wanted to support Cheems, who was on the side of Doge. This caught the attention of Russia, who decided they also wanted to play a part in this war, so they sent some troops across the Atlantic to North America. When Nigeria saw this happen, they alerted their ally, Chad, who realized that Doge and Cheems had consolidated their forces despite their recent uranium 234 dispute. Algeria, realizing they could profit by taking over Chad, decided to declare war on Chad to take over their uranium 234 supply so they could have control over Doge and Cheems. By now, Russian forces have landed in the Americas, where they were suddenly reminded of the Europeans (conquistadors), and just went crazy. Back in Europe, the Spanish heard what the Russians were doing, and they wanted to join in on the fun of conquering Méso-América, so they did. They also wanted to please their master that they were fighting for, the Trollface master, who is sort of like a god to them. When Putin went to Méso-América, he left Russia in utter chaos, where the Russians had no leader and no army. Because of this, Russia split into two nations: Moscow(Formerly known as Russia sovereignly led by Putin ), and SoRussia(The “new and improved” Russia directed by Vlad. Putin II). SoRussia gained the attention of Germans, and so a lot of their troops moved to SoRussia. Germany is now angered by SoRussia, but they don’t want to fight a global superpower. Back to Méso-América, when the Central American nations saw foreign nations taking over, this time, they would not let it slide. They formed an extremely powerful alliance, where they prevented most of the European conquistadors from conquering them. Meanwhile in Madagascar, King Julian realized that since most of the Asian and African nations were out of town, it would be easier to conquer them. And he was right. He started off strong, taking over Mozambique, Mauritius, and Sri Lanka, then stealing a portion of Antarctica for some freshwater. Julian’s plan is to take over all of the old world, and it seems he may achieve part of his goal, but most likely not all of it.

By this point, the world was in absolute chaos, so I would like to focus on one portion of the war going on, the dispute between West and East Africa. The Western African nations include: Sierra Leone, Morocco, Namibia, Togo, Benin, Nigeria, Angola, and Niger. The Eastern African alliance includes Mozambique, Madagascar, Somalia, Ethiopia, Djibouti, eSwatini, and Egypt. These nations are fighting over the oil reserves and Uranium 234 mines in Chad, Algeria, and South Africa. General Dogeous from Mozambique joined this battle to support Grimace from the Doge side, but a couple months into the war, he became tired of the never-ending war that seemed to have no purpose. He delivered a speech to the MNWEA (Meme nations of West and East Africa) declaring that this war was pointless and they should leave the uranium 234 mines alone. He thought that Algeria and Chad deserved to keep their mines with no consequences. He also wrote a book called Gyatt Skibidi. We should be peaced. Yeah, he wrote this title at 2:00 AM, but the book is still a riveting read. It talks about the history of the mines, what we can do to protect them, and attempts to persuade people from all over the world to defend these helpless nations. Despite all of these attempts, nothing ever happened to even slightly change the course of this war. With his battle camps set up so close to the oil reserves, it was an extremely dangerous job, and it put the residents of the country in extreme danger. So he decided to make a daring move.

On the seemingly normal night of April 65th, General Dogeous would quietly make his way out of his tent and steal a canoe into the Nile river, and travel all the way to the Red Sea. There, he informed Mohammed Bin Salman to send his forces and obliterate his own nation, and so Mohammed did. He sent bombers and attack helicopters to the camps, bombing them so they were all dead, and proceeded to do the same with the other camps. The General knew that he would definitely be executed at the INMO stadium, but his plan worked. The two sides agreed to stop fighting, signing a life-changing treaty called The Treaty of Gyatt Skibidi. He got executed anyway.

Now, to focus on another section of the war, we will go back to North America, with the commotion between Canada and Ohio. It is a well known fact that Canada (and the rest of the world) has hated Ohio for all the trouble they have caused, but we’ve never seen something quite like this. The US and Canada are big allies, with a powerful alliance that prevents either of them from getting invaded. But recently, since the New Kingdom is located in Ohio, U.S.A, Canada is actually thinking about becoming enemies with the US. They actually held a press conference about this situation a few weeks back, stating, and I quote, “the USA is not skibidi and we are thinking of fanum taxing all of their oil and stealing all their grimace shakes before Baby Gronk can rizz up all of the sigmas with level 10 gyats in Ohio.” So far, they have not taken any action, but many speculate that this is the beginning of the end of the United States of America.

But who really cares about them, right? So let’s move on to the Southeast, where Australia is doing absolutely nothing. On the other hand, New Zealand, which is always getting excluded from maps, might actually get blown up by the INMO. Apparently, they have made a pact with SoRussia and are sending troops over to Siberia to help them win the war. So, since New Zealand is so irrelevant and they want to decrease SoRussia’s power as much as possible, (and since nobody would notice anyways), they might sink it using a bunch of carefully placed nuclear bombs. Once New Zealand is sunk, the INMO will have less to worry about as SoRussia and Moscow’s power will now be limited. On the bad side, though, the powerful nation of Indonesia is actually on the side of New Zealand and the rest of Oceania, so it will be a lot more difficult to bomb it, as it would likely cause even more commotion amongst the world.

The end. (for now... hahahahhaah)