top of page

Top 7 ways to deplete the population (IN MINECRAFT!!)

pepperoni llama


disclaimer: this is all satire, please do not take it seriously


7. Hack and slash

It might just be me, but an extraordinary long and sharp sword (netherite) separating the two halves of my body would probably kill me. While this method is good for clearing out large crowds, it doesn’t stand a chance towards the 8 billion people (people playing minecraft) alive and will hardly make a dent.


6. Putting explosive material in random buildings (minecraft villager houses)

Inserting TNT into things such as (minecraft) DMVs and (the minecraft) post offices will surely deplete the (villager) population. However, it still seems slow to travel to all these locations and get all these resources (in survival mode), but still more effective than going around with a sword!


5. Shutting down food

Food is an essential part of everyday (minecraft) life and cutting off that steady flow of food will surely damage the population. This can be used to target larger areas that many people live in (villages) and may weaken or force them to flee. Stealing crops (like wheat, potatoes, beetroot and carrots), stopping imports from outside (sending arrows at incoming minecrafters trying to bring in yummy goods) and contaminating the local wildlife (stealing cow leather, making pork with some local pigs, plucking a couple feathers from nearby chickens, borrowing some wood from floating apple trees and robbing the undead humanoid creatures of their rotting innards).


4. Gifting ferocious outside animals

This is when we stop playing games (minecraft bedrock to java). While shutting down food can affect a large area (big villages), it requires a lot of preparation. Even after all of that, a lot of people may still have stocked up food or will just evacuate via automobile (boat or horse). While search and rescue of a wild animal may be quite tough (transporting an ender dragon from the end/ building a wither summon), it all pays off when it does the work for you. These massive creatures will surely decimate the population and do great damage to places as large as a big city (very large and advanced minecraft village).


3. Slow and steady pollution (building one too many minecraft bonfires)

All these previous methods really only attack singular locations where a lot of people live together (villages), but the next affects a couple more (minecraft villagers). By traveling to large icecaps and glaciers (ice spike biome) and putting together a few bonfires, you may start to see that the ice is melting. However, this doesn’t end here. WIth a couple carbon-heavy factories (lots of torches), all this ice will start to raise the water level. Keep this up and you may start to flood whole villages or even towns (bigger villagers). Unfortunately this does take a while, so maybe leave (the game on) it for extended periods of time.


2. Poisoning the water supply

A lot of these previous methods have been simply targeting one area at a time, but water supplies extend to much more. We all know that drinking water is vital for (helping grow plant) life and removing that source will definitely be detrimental. To start, grab some form of poison (minecraft lava) and replace the water with it. This will make the water unusable unless the drinker wants to (utilize keep inventory to go back with a) death. (Ah ah very hot ooh aaa eeee oo very hot)


1. Nuclear war


Remember that whole “putting explosive material in buildings (minecraft villager houses and other areas that villagers take themselves to)” thing? Well, it’s time to perfect it with nuclear weapons (nuclear amounts of TNT because we will use more TNT). With some wiring (red stone) and other thingamajigs (water), an easy missile launcher (TNT cannon) can be constructed. A large amount of explosives can be launched at people-abundant areas (large minecraft villages) from long distances while keeping yourself totally safe*!

8 Comments

Rated 0 out of 5 stars.
No ratings yet

Add a rating
Ada Mug Ray
Ada Mug Ray
Feb 16, 2024
Rated 5 out of 5 stars.

Been there done that



Like

chez101
chez101
Feb 15, 2024
Rated 1 out of 5 stars.

ware de cheese

Like

Ada Mug Ray
Ada Mug Ray
Feb 14, 2024
Rated 5 out of 5 stars.

Been there done that

Like

Pepperoni Llama
Pepperoni Llama
Jan 25, 2024
Rated 5 out of 5 stars.

me coming to end the population


Like

Rated 5 out of 5 stars.


Like
bottom of page